High performers have a drive to succeed and a desire to achieve their goals and make an impact in the world. However, this drive for success can also lead to feelings of burnout, anxiety, and sometimes even feeling stuck. In this article, we will explore the six common myths that high performers often tell themselves that contribute to these negative feelings. By recognizing and addressing these myths, high performers can overcome them and achieve their goals in a more sustainable and healthy way.
Myth #1: “If I had a different job/boss/career, I would be less stressed.”
Many high performers believe that changing their external circumstances will alleviate the stress they are feeling. They may think that if they had a different job, boss, or career, they would be less stressed. However, stress, anxiety, and burnout are internal experiences and unless you change your internal capacity, you will find yourself in the same place.
Research has shown that job stress is not solely determined by the job itself, but also by how individuals perceive and cope with the demands of their job. Therefore, changing your job or career may not necessarily reduce stress if you continue to have the same internal capacity and coping mechanisms.
When I surveyed my network, several people reported that they changed their job in hopes of alleviating their symptoms, but eventually found themselves back at square one because they did not create change internally.
Myth #2: “I just need better time management.”
Many high performers believe that better time management techniques, calendar blocking, or biohacks will solve their stress and anxiety. They may think that if they just had better time management skills, they would be able to handle everything on their plate. However, these methods are only a temporary band aid and will eventually stop working. True change comes from addressing the root cause of the problem.
Time management is an important skill, but it is not the solution to stress and anxiety. These negative feelings may stem from deeper issues such as unrealistic expectations, lack of boundaries, inability to say no to demands placed on us, or an unhealthy relationship with work. Better time management alone will not solve the problem.
Myth #3: “I’m broken, I feel helpless.”
Feeling helpless and broken is a valid feeling, so let’s make sure we have some compassion for ourselves and others who may be feeling this way. Instead of taking a pathological approach- “I’m broken”, let’s look at what’s really going on. The symptoms of stress, anxiety and burnout are symptoms and an adaptation of one’s nervous system. High performers may believe that they are broken or that there is something inherently wrong with them, but this is not the case at all. We all have the ability to grow in our capacity and internal experience. It’s up to us to change, and that is far more empowering than feeling like something is wrong with us.
Myth #4: “I need more_______ AND THEN I’ll be OK.”
High performers often believe that having more resources will solve their stress and anxiety. They may think that if they just had more time, money, or energy, they would be able to handle everything. However, resources are important, but the belief that you need more to be OK is disempowering. You have the power to change your internal experience, regardless of your external circumstances.
Regardless of our circumstance and what we *don’t have*, we are able to make some changes to enhance our wellness now.
Myth #5: “I just need to get to the bottom of this.”
Many high performers have been on an endless hamster wheel of wellness. They’ve been desperately searching for things to help them, or reasons why they’ve become so stressed. They might want to go down the rabbit hole of understanding…dissecting everything in their search for answers. However, cognitive understanding is not where change occurs for these unpleasant symptoms. This only delays us from taking action and receiving the help we need to improve our lives.
Myth #6: “If I change my outside environment, I can finally move past this.”
High performers often believe that changing their external environment will solve their stress and anxiety. They may think that if they just had a different work environment, relationship, or living situation, they would be able to move past their negative feelings. However, while creating a supportive environment is important, it will only take you so far. It’s important to set boundaries, make good choices, leave toxic relationships, create a calming environment, but working on increasing the internal resources we have will always be most impactful.
It’s important to note that external environment can play a role in our internal experience. For example, if a high performer is working in a toxic work environment, it’s important for them to consider making a change. However, simply changing the environment will not solve the problem if the underlying issues of our stress response is not addressed.
It’s also important to recognize that changing the external environment may not always be possible, and when it is, it may not always be the best decision for one’s personal growth. In these cases, developing the internal resources to manage stress and anxiety despite the external environment is crucial.
If you resonate with any of these myths, please know that identifying them is a great first step, but action must be taken to truly heal from burnout or anxiety. If you’re ready to learn more about these topics, you’re in the right place!
Which resonate with you?
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Michelle Holmes is a Performance Consultant who supports teams and individuals to increase their performance, resiliency, and creativity so that the individual AND the organization can FLOURISH. She provides workplace wellness workshops + corporate consulting, speaking engagements, and personal coaching.