High Performers make the world go round. These are the movers and shakers in the workplace. They set their sights on their desires and they go after them- relentlessly pursuing the goal at any expense.
And then?
They burn out from burning the candle at both ends. They sacrifice their own health and wellbeing for their career as they strive to meet the demands they carry on their shoulders. And since they’ve performed so well in the past, they have more on their shoulders than most.
And it’s HEAVY.
But how did it get there in the first place? Are we just the *special ones* chosen to bear an unmanageable weight of the world?
Of course not 🙂
I’m a firm believer that we have control over our own destiny and we are the co-creators of our life and our impact. We are sovereign to choose… we are free to be intentional with our lives and make the choices on the path to our highest good.
And I’d venture to guess that if this was what we were truly doing… none of us would choose to be chronically stressed, ill, and burnt out.
So what gives?
We need a mindset shift.
A mindset shift is what creates lasting change to stop the cycle for good.
What if I told you that your core beliefs can drive the cycle of burnout and keep you stuck?
You may know them as limiting beliefs… but let me put it to you this way:
The beliefs we have integrated based on our past painful learning can keep us stuck in a cycle of overwhelm, burnout, and chronic stress.
Reflect on these:
- Are you a people pleaser?
- Do you identify as having high functioning anxiety?
- Do you “thrive under pressure”?
- Are you a perfectionist?
- Do you procrastinate?
- Do you struggle with setting boundaries?
- Are you your biggest critic?
If you can answer candidly with yourself YES to any of these… why do you think that is?
We aren’t born this way!
Somehow, during our lifetime experiences, we’ve learned to adapt based on the experiences we’ve had.
We’ve learned that it’s safer to be hard on ourselves than it is to hear criticism from the authorities in our life, so we rake ourselves over the coals instead of letting a moment of vulnerability come to the forefront of our lives. We protect ourselves at all costs to avoid the pain of our past.
We avoid hard tasks because we’re avoiding our feelings.
We procrastinate because we’d rather live with the experience of overwhelm than go thru the stressful moments of deconstructing a task we haven’t quite figured out how to do yet. Pushing it off and living with a chronic state of anxiety is more comfortable to us than exploring new territory. New territory is scary!!! And who has the time?
We bend over backwards to please the people around us before we assert ourselves on what is right for us FIRST, because we are looking for validation, acceptance, and praise. We are looking for our place in the world and we feel good when someone recognizes our achievements. This causes us to sacrifice our own sanity for the sake of making others happy…
This might sound too simple in theory. You might not identify with everything I’ve mentioned here.
But we’ve all had pain. We’ve all learned hard lessons. Even if it wasn’t a huge traumatic incident… even if it’s not popping into our head right now and setting off the alarm bells.
We’re all trying to protect ourselves. Our brains are wired to do this at all costs! Our brains are true high performers! The same way we are pursuing our own goals at all costs, our brains are pursuing the goal of keeping us safe. And our brain has spent our entire lifetime doing this.
And it’s worked pretty good, hasn’t it? Since you’re still here, albeit EXHAUSTED.
Our core beliefs about ourselves and the world around us are actually a BIG DEAL. It may take a moment to sink in as we explore this concept, but this IS a piece of the foundation work for transformation.
This isn’t the only solution to overcoming burnout for good… but it is a very critical piece of the puzzle for us to elicit change long term, cultivate wellness for ourselves, and feel like we’re truly flourishing.
Don’t be afraid to dig a little deeper and explore how you’ve adapted.
If you’ve had any takeaways from this article, please comment and let me know what they were!
In my next post, look out for my take on how company culture impacts burnout and employee wellbeing… and the responsibility they need to take to show up better for their high performing teams.
Thanks for reading, and please don’t hesitate to connect with me on this topic further!
-Michelle Holmes
Performance Consultant
See more on this topic with my short video:
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Michelle Holmes is a Performance Consultant who supports teams and individuals to increase their performance, resiliency, and creativity so that the individual AND the organization can FLOURISH. She provides workplace wellness workshops + corporate consulting, speaking engagements, and personal coaching.